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Welcome to mistersite.net, home of... well, something unique, I hope. Be sure to check out all those lovely links to the left to see who I am, what I do, and what I like. Read my blog too... it's right under this paragraph. And leave a comment, so I know you've visited.
I have an afternoon off, mostly because AJ (my boss) and I are going to be in the theatre until 3 or 4 AM tonight and tomorrow night, writing cues for opening on Tuesday. Ugh. I'm really frustrated with work right now, just because all our lighting equipment keeps breaking and we keep having to fix things, and it's really tough to write cues when half the lighting instruments don't go on when they're supposed to. If this is God's way of testing my patience - and I'm pretty sure it is - then, well, I don't know. I'd like to think I'm passing because I've mostly avoided snapping at people and taken my rage out on inanimate objects, but I know I shouldn't have this rage at all. I almost think it would be easier if I just zapped myself with some gamma rays and turned big and green and smashed things when I was angry. Now there's an original thought. (Maybe I should make a comic book and a multimillion dollar movie out of that idea..... I hear Lou Ferrigno isn't doing anything right now.)
Other than the whole "being incredibly busy and tired" thing, though, not much is happening. Yesterday I successfully defended my graduate portfolio, meaning that all I have to do now for my MA is finish out the season at Huron. Dr. Shields, Dr. Chambers, and Steve Boone and I sat in Shields' office yesterday and had an interesting and stimulating conversation about the relationship between religion, performance, the postmodern aesthetic, the postmodern philosophical viewpoint, improvisation, and ministry. I really enjoyed it... haven't had a talk about that stuff in far too long. It was really inspiring to me.
In other news, I like someone, and it's really tough because, as in every other case of me liking someone ever in the history of my liking people, I don't know if she likes me back. The smart part of my mind says that of course she doesn't, the very fact that I'm interested in her automatically means that she isn't interested in me, and points at a lengthy track record that seems to support this very idea. The stoopid part of me, though, thinks there's a chance, and wants to go for it. So the real concern for me is, of course, shutting up the stoopid part of me, accepting another little lump of clay on my mountain of cynicism and bitterness, and getting on with my life. (Boy, I'm positive.)
One good thing to come out of this interest, though, is that God is challenging me as to the role my Christianity plays in the life I show other people. Sure, I do the whole Bible reading and praying thing every night, but how much of that shines through into the life I lead the rest of the day? I wish I could say a lot, but the fact is that I get so tired and grumpy and overworked and nervous that I stop giving a crap and just act natural, and that's the last thing God wants, since my natural self is, well, an ass. So that's something that God's challenging me with through this interest.
posted by jimmy at 11:09 -
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Wow... two entries in five days. You folks are lucky. I'm at the Huron Public Library right now, typing this over my lunch break. That's how important you people are to me. (It's not like I'm skipping lunch or anything like that... I would never be so foolish as to miss Grilled Cheese Day.)
Not much is different in my life, so I'll just leave you with a thing I've been pondering in my head over the past few days.
Chief among my ponderances recently is the relationship between divine intervention and free will again, only this time as regards the question of the meaning of everyday events. I used to be one of those who believed that every littlest thing that happened to me was some sort of meaningful sign from God - that every little detail in my life was part of some supernaturally-controlled structure in space and time, and that no event in my life - from breathing to chance encounters to the minute I woke up - was absent of meaning or value. (I no longer believe this.) Others believe that it's mostly random - not that God isn't concerned with the littlest things that happen in our lives, but rather that every detail of our lives aren't micromanaged, that there are some things (ie. the weather) that God just puts on Autopilot and lets do what they will.
I'm still not sure where I stand on this... on the one hand, I do believe that the universe is rife with meaning, but a universe as strictly controlled by God as such a "micromanagement" perspective requires would necessitate the absolute rejection of any notion of free will as regards humans, as the interactions that make up much of our lives are indeed the result of our "choices," if we indeed have such things. If we have no free will, then the idea of consciousness is the next domino to fall, and pretty soon we're God's robots rather than God's children. Needless to say, this idea is unpalatable to me. However, the idea of a meaningless universe, or one in which only the "major" events have meaning, is equally unpalatable.....
posted by jimmy at 09:55 -
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So I promised I'd update whenever I can... here goes.
Tonight I attended one of the most beautiful weddings I've ever been to in my life. My former roommate Tim got married to a wonderful young lady named Christy, and I honestly almost cried at the wedding, it was that beautiful. There are some weddings when you can tell that God's present in the relationship and that God is going to bless the couple and the people around them, and this was one of those. Seeing the look on Tim's face as Christy walked down the aisle in that wedding dress... it was indeed a sight to behold. This one had special significance for me as I was there at the beginning, when Tim would tell us at our weekly house meeting about how much he liked her and wanted to deepen their relationship, how Christy morphed slowly from "that who does the sign language at church" to Mrs. Christy Haig. I honestly couldn't be happier for both of them... I know God is going to bless them, and those around them, through God's presence in their relationship.
Enough wedding gushing from me. How's life at Huron, you may ask? Well, it's incredibly busy. When I start back up to work on Monday morning at 8:30, I'm pretty much going to be working 12-hour days until August. AJ (the lighting designer / electrics guru) and I are basically the only two permanent electrics people, and so we have the responsibility of rehanging, refocusing, and re-cueing all 150+ instruments in the plot in the three days between strike and opening. Needless to say, we're going to be living in the theatre. Not that I'm complaining... it's actually somewhat invigorating, having so much to do. It gives me an opportunity to lose myself in my work for a while, which is something I really can enjoy, particularly when it's something I love like lighting or ministry.
I've been thinking a lot about aspects of my personality - like my tendency to be withdrawn and reluctancy to form deep relationships with any but a select few - and whether those aspects are part of my "fallen" nature (the things God wants to change in me in order to make me what God wants me to be) or my "divine" nature (the things God wants to amplify about me that will uniquely enable me to carry out my place in God's work on earth.) I'm still not entirely sure what to think about this... and in the end, it really doesn't matter, as God is going to use whatever God needs to use to change me into the person God wants me to be. But still, it's something to think about, and to parse out in my paper journal.
I've started paper journaling again. I figure that while I'm at Huron, a place with a tremendous amount of structure and discipline (at least time-wise) I should get into some good habits, like waking up early, having breakfast every morning, and writing my day's thoughts down in a journal of some sort. Like most of my other journalling projects, I don't have very high expectations for this one, but we'll see how it goes.
Don't expect another update for at least a week... this is going to be a busy week, so I'm not going to have the time to drive to the nearest Internet joint at Huron. I'm expecting some time off this Saturday night and Sunday morning, though, so there might be an update then. Stay tuned.
posted by jimmy at 20:55 -
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Well, folks, this is it for a while.
Tomorrow I head off to Huron, OH and the Huron Playhouse, where I will be working my hiney off six days a week. I'm looking forward to it because, well, obviously, it's something to do, and I love theatre and theatre people (I had the good fortune of meeting some of my colleagues today at load-in.) But at the same time, I'm concerned that with very little Internet access, I'm going to lose touch with the "outside" world - something which would otherwise be welcome, except that (a) it's the baseball season and (b) I've far too many arrangements to make for fall to be out of contact.
The following is a message to a Mr. Aaron Sorkin. He's been the subject of quite a few posts recently, and the fact that I've watched all 45 episodes of SportsNight in the past five days has something to do with that.
Mr. Sorkin, I beg you: Gather your flock together and get SportsNight back on the air. Collect Peter Krause from Six Feet Under, Joshua Malina from The West Wing, Sabrina Lloyd from Ed, Felicity Huffman from Frasier, and Josh Charles and Robert Guillaume from wherever they went. Get them all back together, call up Tom Schlamme, and make some more shows. I want to see Jeremy and Natalie keep going, I want to see Dana and Casey finally hook up, I want to see Dan and Rebecca together. I want more banter, more politics, more games of "celebrity," more William H. Macy as Sam. Please, give us poor fans some resolution, I beg of you. Even if it's just a one-hour special, even if you have to tape it with a Super-8 in your backyard, give us more. I'll provide the tape and munchies for cast and crew.
Well, after that sad (and, some will say, desperate) appeal, I'm off to bed, then off to Huron, then off to who knows where. Whenever I'm near the Internet I'll sign on and update; check back here periodically for more info. Also, if you're in the vicinity of Huron, OH during any weekend in July, stop by and check out one of our shows. I probably won't be acting, but you'll know I hung at least some of the lights.
Hasta luego, mis amigos.
posted by jimmy at 22:13 -
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If Aaron Sorkin were a woman and otherwise compatible with me, I would marry him... er, her.
posted by jimmy at 22:28 -
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Right now Charlie Parker's in the Jukebox. Ahhh, Charlie Parker, and his insanely-cool bop.....
Something from Bethany's Xanga got me thinking about how brilliant Aaron Sorkin is, and how much of a travesty that SportsNight was cancelled after only two seasons... not that I have anything more to say about that, except that it tickles me all shades of pink to see Josh Molina on West Wing, and that I'm disappointed that Sorkin's leaving West Wing. Guess that was two more things. Also, I agree with Bethany that it would be cool to meet Aaron Sorkin and banter with him like his characters. I try to engage people in my life in Sorkin-esque banter, but few seem to understand it. Kinda like Dennis Miller.
So I've been having a really groovy week, and I don't know why... maybe it's a chemical thing, because I'm having trouble getting to sleep at night too. But I've been out being active just about every day this week (playing Ultimate, working out, going disc golfing, so forth) and I've made serious progress on my portfolio (it's even going to be done!), and I'm just brimming with self-confidence and optimism.
Yeah. That'll last.
Most of my belongings are in boxes now. I like boxes. They're like three-dimensional rectangles.
posted by jimmy at 22:04 -
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Despite the fact that it takes people like me down a few notches, this is worth reading.
posted by jimmy at 07:52 -
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This is probably about as early in the morning as you'll see a post from me. I arose early today in order to get a jump on finishing my portfolio, and strangely enough, there's something invigorating about being up early on one's own volition. I suppose it would have been different if I'd had to wake up for class, because that was an obligation. But for some reason, because I'm awake and feeling like I'm actually getting something accomplished here, it's better. Hmm.
I finished reading The Brothers K yesterday... scratch one off my reading list. I wasn't intending to finish it so quickly, but as I got going it became the only thing I was interested in reading, so I just kept blazing forward. If you haven't read that book, you should; it's one of the most honest and beautiful expressions of the problems facing faith in this day and age, and at the same time incredibly reaffirmed my own faith as I read it. There may be a longer review later, once I get all this portfolio stuff done.
Another piece of pleasant news: Stein's going back to work at the camp she and I worked at three summers ago. That news made me really happy. In many ways, I'm jealous of her getting to go back... I wish I could spnd my summer working at a summer camp again. Despite the fact that I'm not all that fond of kids (I could tolerate them) there was just something about being in a community of Christians out in nature, worshipping every night, that really appealed to me. If I had it to do all over again, I'd keep working at those types of places just for that experience. But alas, working at camp won't get me the six credit hours I need to graduate by August, and those I sorely need...
posted by jimmy at 06:57 -
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